Ups and Downs/MS Blues

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For the most part, I deal with my illness (Multiple Sclerosis) and limitations with a positive spin. It isn’t easy but I look for the high points I can still have. Butttt… the ups and downs are still there. Looking for and sharing the UP moments helps me and those around me to deal with this scary reality.

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Why am I sharing this with you guys? Because it is human nature to fear and avoid what we don’t understand. I have found that being upfront and completely (the embarrassing, funny, scary, ludicrous, and at the painful) honest helps to bridge the awkward moments when I lose my words, break into tears, or look at a simple phrase with a million mile stare.

But dude… I grew up dealing with dyslexia, a little word soup is nothing new. I learned to laugh at my Duh moments. I learned to enjoy the fact that reading upside-down or backwards was a breeze.

Learning to deal and laugh about my brain and body having incorrect responses took a little longer but for the most part I have learned to roll with the punches and enjoy the things I still have in my life. I got my vision back, I relearned how to create my arts and craft hobbies, once in a while I have the energy to cook again, and best of all… I learned to create stories for others to enjoy. The edits are still a pain and at times near impossible, but I have others willing to help me out by stopping my missed words.

I’m thinking of making some MS themed swag for next year when I take my book baby, Shocking Finds, and hopefully his little sister to the Rebels and Readers book signing… over three hundred authors asked to sign up for the event, but only about 75 of us were able to make it in. I can’t wait to sit among my fellow writers and experience the event from their perspective. Okay… I am a little freaked out but excited… ūüėõ¬†I¬†plan to locate a chair that will allow me to sit through the hours without as much pain…¬†most seating is a killer…. even if I have to pad the thing with pillows, I will be there…

That will be a definite¬†UP moment… something to balance out the¬†DOWN moments. Like Scorpion… I love that show, but omg … I cried my eyes out as I watched Walter’s sister die. I had held up hope that the geniuses of the show would find a way to¬†help her at the last moment, but instead I sat there watching my worst fears. It took a few days and my mother’s support to bounce back to my positive outlook.

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I swear, I couldn’t stop crying… and not silent tears.. NOOOOO… there was mucus, hiccupping sobs that interfered with my breathing, and swollen eyes. It wasn’t pretty. When I went upstairs and saw Mom, I warned her not to watch if she didn’t want to cry. She told me I shouldn’t be watching Scorpion. At which point, I burst back into tears and almost shouted, “It’s not like they can kill her twice.” lol… just one of those over the top emotional moments for this MS gal… And it’s true… it was horrible but it isn’t a moment that the TV show can repeat, at least not to that degree. Now… if they kill off Ralph, the cute genius kid, I will have to call it quits… I love his character… brainiac kids are sooo adorable…

Besides… it is the awareness brought to the disease by Scorpion, Shemar Moore’s Baby Girl clothing, and other celebrity involvement/exposure that will spread the word and help the world to understand and want to help out with the further the cure cause.

And now that Thanksgiving is over and my down moment has passed, I am headed back to edits. I still¬†have a couple of days left of NaNoWriMo to add to my word count.¬†I already hit the 50k goal line… wooo who… in fact, Book Two is now at 72k words.¬†It is looking like Book Two will be in the 80k range, shorter than Book One –¬†Shocking Finds. But then¬†Book¬†One in the Finder’s Keepers¬†Series took on the heavier burden of opening up the world of Marin and Kyland.¬†I can’t wait to wrap up the edit rounds, and start looking for Beta Readers.

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Every day is all about admitting what I want, and then understanding what I can take on today and what has to wait for another day. Understand that those you know with MS may be hiding a multitude of pain, they may have uncontrollable emotions and freak out when the sun beats down, or move slow with their actions and reactions… but everyday is different… all they need is your understanding and support… I hope to see you all at Rebels and Readers Nov 2016 and even if you might tear up, you should definitely check out Scorpion… Happy wordage, Tracey

4 thoughts on “Ups and Downs/MS Blues”

  1. Bless you for your strength and perseverance. You’re a shining example for the world. I too hoped Megan would pull through. That she and Sylvester found love for each other was a special thing too. Sending you cyber hugs, I’m doing NaNo too my book is at .93,189 words on it’s way to at least 100,000. I validated twice. It added 13 words over Microsoft Word’s count. That’s fine and great.
    Sending you cyber hugs.

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    1. wow… excellent wordage… I’m still in the 70’s but plan to continue editing and growing it next month as well… lol… man the edits… and thanks for the cyber hugs… :p talk to ya later

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