Fatigue/ the hard hitter


Exactly… lol… let’s just say that it is a good thing that i write while in a comfortable position…

I love my words, and I love the worlds and characters that I am able to create, buuuutttt…. the dang edits knock me on my arse… about an hour, that’s all I get… then my eyes get heavy, my eyes start to cross, and between one breath and the next I am out like a light… I wake up a few hours later (lucky if my laptop hasn’t crashed to the floor) and go back to my edits… Writing saved my life, and helped me to cope with all the losses when I was first diagnosed… there was a lot that i couldn’t do for years… but luckily, i had my stories… at first i couldn’t write or type… but I could imagine and dream up stories to tell myself… It took about five years before I could finish writing a sentence without passing out, and or crying with a headache… It has taken a lot of time, but for now, I can write and come up with story after story… now if I could only pass off the edits to someone else… lol…

no one seems to get it… the phrase ‘just lay down when you get tired’ is hurtful and completely missing the point… the point being that I don’t have time to slid into bed, I don’t have time to put my computer in a safe place, and I definitely don’t have time uncross my eyes… 😛 my brain looks at those continuous edits and says ‘nope, no more, I’m leaving’


When I do catch on quick enough to the fact that my brain has had enough (and I’m not just bored to death with edit), I can try to change tracks… stop editing and move on to one of my craft projects… It isn’t that I hate edits, it is the process of cognitive input… for some reason, I can make up stories and write blogs until the cows come home, but ask me to research or fill out a questionnaire… that’s when my brain starts to get cross… hmph…

As for going off to bed for a catnap??? Who wants to be in bed all the time? If I stopped everything to take a nap every time there was even a hint of exhaustion, I would be in bed 70% of the time… booo… I already feel like I missed ten years of my life while I was dealing with my disease… I was hit hard when I was diagnosed… one moment I was a 25 year old college student and the next I was in a hospital bed, acting like a five year old… Why I got better, I don’t know… I just know that Multiple Sclerosis can throw a person into blindness, but that days or months, or even years, your sight can come back… which to me means that we should never give up hope…

getting sick sucks, but life changes on a dime, figure out what you want to do, and then go day by day figuring out what you can do… if you can’t drive to the store today, order a pizza and drive to the store tomorrow… When i am really down, I have my mother for support… somehow, she manages to pull me out of my MS blues when something I want to do is suddenly impossible… I hope that every one out there (MS or not) has someone in their life that can be there for time half as much as my Mother is for me…

Happy wordage everyone… I hope you enjoy the second friday of the month/MS news post… Tracey Clark

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